28 Comments
User's avatar
njmksr's avatar

I have fond memories of throwing up a great many times after eating too many Doritos® Locos Tacos™. Thank you for your service, Captain Ramirez, in defending my God-given right as an American.

deltaVelocity's avatar

Even past the importance of Taco Bell to our boys on Guam, The idea of a strategic stockpile of Mountain Dew® Baja Blast™ falling into the hands of the Percs is unnaceptable.

njmksr's avatar

We cannot allow the adversary to eclipse us in caffeination technology. The National Strategic Mountain Dew® Baja Blast™ Reserve, Brought to You by Taco Bell® is essential to our national security.

deltaVelocity's avatar

Gosh, could you imagine how things had gone if the PLA had access to Monster, let alone Bang?

Reconstructionist's avatar

"the russian olympic drug cocktails we can deal with,,, but Bang... a bridge too far"

njmksr's avatar

Imagining Xi Jinping dying of a stroke after an official visit to America leads to him trying a local drink, "lemonade"

njmksr's avatar

Every can counts. Just one of them could have blown our whole CAFSEC wide open. We're damn lucky we had a couple of aces in the hole, Skittles C4 and Sour Patch Ghost.

CARTWHEEL's avatar

how in the goddamn did you come in around 10 minutes after it dropped

njmksr's avatar

I was eating lunch, looking at my phone, and I had got a notification

CARTWHEEL's avatar

Honestly this is a very interesting look at the ugly end of SF operations. Yes, they are lethal, maybe a grade above the common soldier. But at the end of the day most of an SMU's lethality comes from their ability to blindside an enemy and not from individual magic.

Reconstructionist's avatar

Yeah, and the PLA SOBs are kinda Ranger equivalents but obvi not quite up to the same par as the 75th (or the DVTL Raiders)

CARTWHEEL's avatar

I mean...

It wouldn't matter either way. US SMUs have had teams get smoked by shit plans and bad insertions. Pick up all the high tech kit you like, we still haven't figured out how to make a guy stumbling out of a crash win a firefight against someone with a weapon trained on their location reliably

Still love the description of them from Battle Order as "mildly concussed"

Reconstructionist's avatar

oh yeah definitely. That they were even able to get going is a testament to them (and intentional that they're able not just all get slaughtered).

They're not only fucked up by the G Forces, but upon thinking about it they were probably hooked up to liquid breathing shit to keep them from passing out, and god knows what was in that soup lol

CARTWHEEL's avatar

tbh its probably still a problem

i mean geared in exosuits with personal small arms, mixed with light AT and probably automatic GLs, you're... not gonna have a great time.

a lot of these are glosses but I can't imagine sitting in like, a busted out building, looking down the chevron of an ACOG and making that calculation of like, can I smoke enough of them that I won't get mulched by return fire

Luke L's avatar

Ma deuce finally got a replacement of some sort?

Reconstructionist's avatar

its still around for vehicle mounts, but most infantry units have upgraded to basically an upsized LWMMG in extra spicy .416 barrett think kinda like an american QJZ-171

Abramslvr's avatar

Ohhhh, nice. Really liked this one. So do we end up landing any forces that day or is it just they’re on their own

Reconstructionist's avatar

it takes a week or so for the US to put together an airborne op (the Day of Dueling Jumps) but its pretty slow because everything else going on

Abramslvr's avatar

Ohhh. So will you ever do a chart of the post or pre-shift usaf?

Luke L's avatar

United States Aerospace Force, imagine. (Either rebranding of old USAF... or merger of the old USAF and USSF)

Reconstructionist's avatar

Yeah USAF and USSF re-merge in the late 2020s

Luke L's avatar

Similar to Russian practice then, not rebranding like the case of JASDF to JASSDF, or FAF (French Air Force) to FASF (air and space) model.

Reconstructionist's avatar

yeah. Also TIL that JASDF is getting renamed!

Max's avatar

you cheeky cheeky cheeky bastards, I see what y'all did with the names

Koishi's avatar

"He looked at the red metal band on his wrist. He scanned the horizon with the Razorback’s infrared gunsight, linked to his nods, searching for enemy Airborne Loitering Tactical Munitions. He didn’t have much armor to see through, but he could see through it."

A lot of these I feel like the flow could have a few nuts and bolts tightened.

"He looked to the red metal band on his wrist for a moment, before scanning the horizon with the Razorback's IR gunsights linked to his nods, searching for enemy Airborne Loitering Tactical Munitions. The thing didn't have much armor to see through, but he could still do it, and that might mean life or death in a thinskin like the LCCV."

also i fucked up account generation or something i dunno.